Full House November 19 2009

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

Elvis addict Lorna Bulmer told her hilarious story of her life as a sideburn chaser. Lorna stopped at nothing to get her man, and eventually married her Elvis impersonator hubby Paul.

As the lights dimmed and smoke whirled through the air, I felt the familiar excitement bubble up inside of me.

My heart hammered against my chest and my knees turned to jelly as the main act took to the stage.

As he struck a pose and began crooning into the mike with his deep American drawl, we began screaming.

Elvis was in the building!

Or as close as we were going to get.

Women around me jostled to get to the front of the crowd as the Elvis tribute artist on stage began his electrifying act.

We knew the drill – we’d been coming to these gigs for years.

Like moths to a flame we flocked to these nights to worship our hero – The King.

As he stepped into the crowd and began walking around the swooning women, it was as if he was the real thing.

When he stopped in front of me and planted a kiss on my cheek, I flushed with pleasure.

“Hey lady,” he drawled into the microphone.

Who’d have thought that only that morning I’d been making his cup of tea while he fixed the kitchen sink!

Paul Bulmer, aka A Touch of Elvis, was my hubby – but there in the theatre he was Elvis.

It kept a spark in our relationship, that’s for sure.

I’d had a passion for Elvis all my life.

Ever since first hearing that southern drawl and watching clips of Elvis on telly when I was a child, he has been my obsession.

My mum Denise, 50, and sister Beccy, 23, were huge Elvis fans and as soon as we were old enough, mum would take us along to watch the live shows all over the country.

But such an adoration had its downfalls.

Throughout my late teens I struggled to stay interested in guys.

“He seems nice,” my mum would say as my first boyfriend Tim left the house one night.

“There’s something missing,” I complained.

The truth was I only ever felt really alive at the Elvis shows.

When I was 20 I met David. He was good looking, funny, had a good job and seemed to be really into me.

But, again, something wasn’t quite right.

“You’re never going to be satisfied,” my mum laughed.

“There’s only one man for me,” I said sighing as I placed my favourite Elvis CD in the CD player.

But even I had to admit – it was going beyond a joke now.

Even so, after a year I broke it off with David.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “It’s not you, it’s me,” I said without conviction.

“It’s neither of us,” he fumed. “It’s him!” He pointed at the big poster of Elvis I had on my bedroom wall.

As David stormed from the house, I wondered if I would ever be happy with anyone other than The King himself?

Then in 2004 I went along to an Elvis gig in Blackpool .

As the tribute artist, A Touch of Elvis, took to the stage I felt the familiar goosebumps as I gripped mum’s hand.

“Phwoar,” I said as he shook his hips and swung the mike around.

After the show I went to bed and dreamed of quiffs and rhinestone-studded jumpsuits.

The following night I went onto an Elvis chat forum online.

Soon a guy started chatting to me. He told me he was the Elvis tribute from the night before.

No way, I thought.

But as we typed and I told him I’d been at the show, he remembered me from the gig.

“You’re very good looking,” he said to me. My heart melted, it was as if he really was The King himself.

He told me his name was Paul Bulmer and he was 38. I was only 22 but we arranged to meet some weeks later at another of his gigs.

That night, I felt Paul performed only for me.

As he crooned Love Me Tender, I knew I was falling for him.

“Can I see you again?” He asked as we stole a kiss after the gig.

“Of course,” I sighed.

Soon we were inseparable.

Some of my friends thought the age difference was too much.

But I was hooked.

Within four months I’d moved from my home in Skelmersdale to live with Paul in York .

Not only did we move in together, but so did our Elvis collections. Our house was like a shrine to The King and it felt so right.

Within weeks we knew we’d found our perfect match. Paul turned to me one night “I love you Lorna,” he said. “Let’s get hitched – in Graceland .”

I didn’t have to think twice – my ideal man in my heaven on earth.

Soon after in July 2005, I discovered I was pregnant. Things were moving fast, but I was sure it was right.

In May 2006 I gave birth to our daughter Ebony.

In September 2007 we were married in the Elvis mansion in Graceland . It was the most perfect moment of my life.

Since then we’ve settled into married life and most days it’s like a normal marriage.

But when I go to Paul’s gigs we enjoy the role play of pretending I’m not his wife.

All of a sudden we are transported back to the night we met and it’s as if we’re falling in love all over again.

Watching all the women swooning over him gives me a sense of pride – and we get home I can’t wait to get my hands on him.

Paul’s mates jokingly call him ‘the big hunk of burning love’ and I can see why!

He certainly knows how to keep me All Shook Up and, as long as we’re together, I’ll never be Lonesome Tonight.